Trying to be Merry on Christmas

 

I’m now officially one of the Grinch. After 13 years of landing a job, last night was the first time I reported to work on a Christmas Eve. Normally during this time of the year, I’d either be in my hometown – Bacolod, or in Batangas celebrating Christmas with my wife and our family.

But then everything changes. And this year that change came to my career and left me no choice but to stand by it and be at work - technically, to role model. Ahem.

So yesterday afternoon I was actually feeling some mixed emotions as my time to go to work nears.  I was feeling excited for this first time event in my profession; and at the same time I was feeling uneasy and sad that I’d be celebrating my Christmas eve  without my wife or family with me. I’d be with my peers and people instead.

By the time I arrived at our plant, I can feel that the mood is surprisingly festive. The sight of employees with bags of gifts added to the holiday atmosphere.  The smiles and greetings are unwavering and infectious. Well at least whatever the reasons for the jolly characters, I know I’m surrounded by good aura for the rest of the graveyard shift.

Everything went the usual way just like any ordinary day when work kicked in. I was actually thinking, “Well, not bad. I can actually be a nurse, a pilot, a fireman, a security guard or a doctor on call…”or any other personnel who is expected to work even during the holidays. I felt like I’m not missing a big event or a love one. Well, not yet.

Break time came and a special dinner for all the manufacturing employees was served. The special meal was accented even more by a special dinner table setting. We’d be eating with candlelight. So by this time I was becoming even more convinced that working that night will be no big feat. I’m even starting to enjoy it. The sight of the lechon worked like a charm.

Right after dinner, I was back on my desk doing some routine tasks when I heard someone mentioned, “Sir Christmas na po (Sir it’s Christmas already)”. That’s when I glanced at the wall clock to see that it has struck midnight. The greetings around the production line competed with the humming equipment and audible alarms. I returned the merry wishes but caught myself faking a smile. I suddenly felt sad. I felt a lump in my throat.  I tried to contain myself.  And as if by a snap of a finger, I missed everyone whom I used to be with.

Probably this experience will stay with me until the next year. The feeling of having to choose between work and being with my love ones is a perfect dilemma.  Something’s got to give. And whoever said before that “Work is just a slice of life, it’s not the whole pizza” is mostly someone who can afford to sacrifice that slice. Unfortunately I don’t have the pleasure of doing so. When that day comes I’ll be the happiest.

I (Still) Don’t Get It

“An empty mind is a devil’s workshop”

Frankly speaking, having without a car made me a bit uneasy especially now that the Christmas season is coming in, and fast! I missed a lot without it.

I missed going to the malls with my wife on our own time and not worrying if we’re going to squeeze our butts in just to get seated in the jeepney for being the last two to get in. I missed the gift buying activity we’ve been regularly doing and not wondering how and where we’d be able to place all the shopping bags. I missed going home late coming from a good (esp. scary) movie. I missed getting stuck in traffic with me on the wheel and not having to think if my nose has clogged due to smog, smoke & dust – whichever comes first or all of it combined.  I missed waking up a bit late and not worrying that I’ll miss the bus to work. I just missed the freedom it gave me.

To shake off this feeling of self pity, I tried keeping my mind busy while being a passenger in one of the buses, jeepneys or cars of friends. And that did me good somehow. My thoughts wandered more (no defensive driving to worry about). I became observant of other things I can’t see or think of while driving. I became keen with what is outside the vehicle’s window.

And those wild brainstorming got me into things that until now make me say, “I don’t get it”.

I don’t get it why charity parties intended to benefit the hungry street children are in lavish settings with abundant overpriced food and attended normally by “botoxed” personalities. Can’t these people just give right away to charity? Or they really need the TV and photo coverage for that?

I don’t get it why a billboard at a sidewalk going to Tagaytay says, “Inteligent Auto Paint Shop”. Hopefully the owner has a good explanation for this, or else, better they forget having customers in there.

I don’t get it why the employees of “Coolmaster Airconditioing Expert” (in front of the car I’m in while on our way to a Christmas party) are out in the open at the back of a wobbly pick-up truck enduring the noontime heat.

I don’t get it why a municipal vehicle with the words “Responsableng Taong Bayan (Responsible people of the community)” is illegally park on one side of Muntinlupa’s road.

I don’t get it why when a majority is anticipating to travel by air during this Christmas season is also the time when Discovery Channel and National Geographic shows programs such as Air Crash Investigation, Air Disasters, etc. Either someone from those shows hate Christmas travel or owns a stock in the shipping industry. And by the way, out of curiosity I tried to search in Wikipedia and I’m glad with the result - December is not the highest among the statistics. At least not among the top three and that’s a relief, well, sort of.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*extracted these data and tabulated using excel’s countif formula.
*sorted from lowest (April) to highest (November).

 

 

Lastly, I don’t get it why the brandy I’ve been drinking (since I bought it) kept me awake instead of falling asleep. I guess it’s about time I check the fine print on its label. I’d be damned if it contains caffeine. But then again my subconscious must be working on something else (and wants me to stay up late). Something I might be thinking about more with Christmas day only 3 days to go. Whatever that is, let it come by…I’d love to write about it soon.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone…especially to you wifey. I really miss you!!

 

(I just noticed the most frequent word I mentioned in my blogs are either wife, beer or liquor. I think it’s about time i change my blog name.hehehe)

  

 

Golf for Me?

Step in their shoes

We call them stupid, litterbugs, lazy, morons, dumb, a**hole and any other profanity that may not be even found in the dictionary. Sometimes we call them just insensitive. But aren’t we?

This week is one of the stressful weeks for me. Stress that comes from all sort of factors that even I wonder if I should be caring about it in the first place.

There’s the pressure from work that is a mixture of delivery and people management.  People who seems not to work and doesn’t understand what is expected from them.

There’s the tricycle driver who drives like as if there’s no tomorrow and would be so willing to include you in their death wish.

There’s the jeepney driver who would intentionally park in front of a No Park Zone to spend time to wait for passengers despite knowingly causing a traffic jam right behind them.  And the irony of it all is that it is in front of a traffic police or enforcer who looks like they have a worst case of cataract that blinds them of the on-going violation in front of them.

There’s the homeowners who refuse to pay their dues because they feel they’re not obligated to do so and who would sometimes reason out that they have problems with their finances but you’d find them smoking packs of cigarettes a day and would see their house lit brightly from Christmas lights and decors.

There’s the loan processor who doesn’t seem to extend a bit of customer care by giving advice to the applicant that his car loan application is sitting stagnant in his inbox for quite some time due to the lack of one simple signature.

And there are the street scavengers who would open up garbage bags and throw away its content in search of recyclables and never even caring to fix it back creating an eye sore in the end.

Sheesh.  The list could go on.

So today, while on a day-off I keep reflecting what must have gone wrong for me to suffer such stress. I can’t find any reason except that I too have been busy or that I could have been too self-centered or that I lack the empathy.

Most likely it’s my lack of empathy. Merriam-Webster defines empathy as, “noun, the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.”

Ouch! I never knew Merriam-Webster could inflict such pain with its definition. I only experience such guilt during mass’ homilies. Understanding. Being aware of. Being sensitive to. Such words kept playing in mind just as caffeine would do to my bloodstream. It kept me awake, restless and uneasy.

Well, I have come up to some realization on my “stress list” above.

Just imagine not having eaten for quite a while and the only hope you’ve got is to pick and sell items at the junk shop in order for you to take your first meal after a couple of days. And with the other man inside the bus hating you just because you to failed to keep the street clean.

Imagine if you have to juggle payroll, separation payments and loan applications. Some wants their last pay and another one badly wants a new car.

Imagine if you have got a “really” sick kid at home and the only way to buy those medicines is to work double time by either driving a tricycle or a jeepney and optimize its capacity even with the risk of getting apprehended by a police officer. And one of your passengers is just thinking of traffic laws and having to get to the mall to kill time.

Sometimes the world would be such better place if we stop thinking just all about us. Sometimes we need to understand why people acted the way they do. With this we might be able to extend our help or at least lessen a bit of our expectations and in effect lessen the stresses in our lives. Sometimes we just have to step in their shoes.

P.S. I just can’t find any reason why a homeowner won’t pay their dues when in fact they are getting the benefits of the village funds. Ti abi.       

Of Writers and Photographers

“…I remember coming home a few days after EDSA 1 and playing it on the piano without interruption, and completing this five minute song in an unbelievable two minutes. How was that possible, if the song takes five minutes to sing…” – Jim Paredes

Athletes call it the “Playing the Zone”. It is a level where most play their best games. And this tends to continue as soon as they get into it and ends until they tire themselves out.

Similarly this applies to everything we do, day in day out. There are times when we spontaneously do something without even having to think about it. These are the times when everything seems to flow consistently in favor of a goal in mind. Even doing a simple household chore has its own zone.

And this zone is just as evident to writers and photographers, pro and non-pro.

The reason why I’m writing this blog because recently I felt as if I miss finding good and properly composed photos in my multiply.com network. Just a few months back there was a barrage of wonderful pictures coming from my on-line buddies but lately it seems none have posted such or as I suspect none captured any good ones. And shall I say composed something worth posting and flaunting? Hopefully, their Canon SLRs aren’t sitting in one corner, collecting molds and dusts. Hey guys keep shooting.

Well, this is also true with bloggers and reviewers. I missed the days when I’d read write ups so nice that I’d wonder if the man behind those articles (blogs) are pro in incognito or just plain individuals like me who haven’t got the bucks to purchase such expensive cameras and so therefore decided (maybe against their will) to write blogs instead. Besides this is what sets the two hobbies or pastimes apart. Photography enthusiasts (I hate it when most claim to be “Photographers”, just as bloggers claim to be as writers. Sometimes I’m guilty too), need at least a $1000 SLRs while all bloggers need is just an idea. Not a tough selection for me, of course.

A couple of weeks ago I reviewed some of my previous (more than a year ago) blogs and some made me smile and pat myself at the back; some made me turn red in embarrassment. My only consolation is my blog traffic is not that high (or could the poor compositions be one of the reasons why). Besides I don’t have a proofreader. There goes the ultimate alibi. Ti abi.

But I still remember the times when I wrote those wonderful blogs (again, just my opinion) were the times when I think I was immersed in the zone. I also observed that these are times when a favorite or good music either plays in the background or just inside my head. I think the rhythm does something with the composition especially if it goes with the emotions behind the idea that is currently set. My keyboard becomes the piano. Only difference is it produces a blog rather than music.

Even the people I admire and envy for having been gifted enough to possess such wonderful talents in both literature and photography, such as Jim Paredes and James Deakin doesn’t come free from blunders – that is, doing something out of the zone. I’ve read and seen some of their works and I can’t help but think, “Hey, this isn’t them”, or, “Did they really do this?” But then, these are busy guys and most likely the pressure of the deadlines just affects the outcome.

And with the Christmas season getting nearer each day, work activities piling up, vacations to consider, parties to attend to are all joining our already chaotic schedule, I still hope that people will still find time to focus on their tasks and duties – that is, to their online world. Let the wonderful blogs come and let those good photographic eyes capture the beauty of everyday life.