Spam Anyone?

Pronunciation: \ˈspam\

Function: noun

Etymology: from a skit on the British television series Monty Python’s Flying Circus in which chanting of the word Spam overrides the other dialogue

Date: 1994

: unsolicited usually commercial e-mail sent to a large number of addresses

(www.m-w.com)

Coming out of bed from a short sleep after a graveyard shift duty, an idea pop out of nowhere (or out of boredom). “Hey, why not put to good use the spams I regularly receive?” And with that trash thought, comes…trash, of course. G.I.G.O - Garbage In, Garbage Out. So blog world, please welcome my spam blog.

This blog is mainly all about forwarded emails coming from my wife, family members, friends and of course, last but not the least - spammers. These emails ranges from tips on health, safety, car maintenance & home care; Some are urband legends that by the power of the internet gets recycled and creates another wave of terror and sleepless nights to its clueless recipient; Others are jokes - both green or clean - and others are religious chain mails that threatens a gullible receiver of death or misfortune if not forwarded in 10 seconds to 10 contacts. And this is just a few of the emails I’ve received so far. In short this is a blog of emails on everything and anything under the sun.More often than not, I become a spammer as well as I would normally forward emails that I think are good to my contact groups. Ti abi. The cycle never ends.

Nevertheless, I still think that not all spam are created equal. What is trash to me, may actually work for others. And so instead of deleting these mails, I’d bury them all here for others to read and learn.

I hope you enjoy My Spam Blog.

Preparing for Bum Days

 

Every working day seems to be getting gloomier and gloomier. Don’t get me wrong but I’m quite sure I still exude a positive look to most people – to my colleagues, to my peers. In short I’m becoming a professional hypocrite. Ti abi. But that’s the way it should be right now. There’s no point in surrendering even if the fight seems worthless. Sooner or later I’d be a bum. But until that time comes I try to be positive. Remember: choose to be happy.

And what am I doing to prepare for these days? I make sure that I equip myself with “bum tools”. And what are these so far?

1.       Unpaid car. Nice to drive around with. Necessary to eliminate couch rashes.

2.       Books. Lots of it. I think I’d be able to read most of it while in career hibernation. I’d start to worry when I start re-reading my wife’s Archie comics.

3.       Cable TV and Internet subscription. Other than being certified bum tools, both may well be my connection to the outside world; which reminds me to check the schedule of the TV show Til Debt Do Us Part.

4.       DVDs. Got to have popcorns and beer to go along with these.

5.       Brother. Yes, a brother, a brother that can help me distribute my resume print outs while on a job hunt. It’s a Brother all in one printer. Nice tool.

6.       Rubik’s cube. I don’t know if the recent recession and attrition is the reason why this cube puzzle was revived. I’m seeing a conspiracy here.

I think I’ve got quite a stockpile already. I’m sure these could pretty well keep me occupied for days to come.

***

The Brother all-in-one printer that we got is the 150C model. Although, we’ve checked HP’s  and Canon’s model before finally purchasing it, I still consider it an impulsive buy. Hahaha. Anyway, as reckless as it appears, I think we got ourselves a good deal as I’ve been actually eyeing to have one since more than a year ago. A printer, scanner and copier in one package and at the price of nearly Php 4000 (<USD 100) is well spent. I guess.

This brand may not be as popular as Canon or HP when it comes to printers, but the features it has are competitive enough. Its interface is user friendly. And its overall case and parts appears sturdy. It actually reminds me of our Brother portable typewriter which I’ve done a good deal of torture but still remains in operation until now after more than 15 years. Hopefully this multi-printer will stay strong just like his brother (pun intended).

Scanned images and print outs appear better than expected as well. At first we got disappointed when the photo prints outs had lines in it, but then after reading the user’s manual (duh!) and following the instructions, a better print came out. I can’t say it’s perfect, but it’s like just any other photo I received from my sister who I know got a Canon photo printer and from some friends who developed their digital images thru professional developing centers. By the way, it has 4 ink cartridges (black, magenta, cyan and yellow) which makes it economical. Only the consumed color gets to be replaced. Needless to say, my resume will use up only the black one first.

Nothing is perfect though. So upon installation I saw some issues with it. The scanning software doesn’t have a preview(hopefully, I just missed it), unlike my Canon’s LiDE 20 which I find very useful as it lessens scanning time when doing small size papers such as paper bills which I used to test it. I later read in the manual that it’s illegal to scan money. Don’t worry I don’t intend to forge my 500 bill. Though I wish it will multiply just like that. Ti abi.

Lastly, I find the AC cord and USB connections weird. I expect the AC cord to be at the rear part and the USB port just somewhere visible. The port is hidden underneath the scanner bed which must be lifted in order to access and connect th cable. I’m still wondering why its designer decided to place it this way. I can’t see the reason why (I just don’t know if the other multi-printer brands are set up just like it).

 (AC Cord on lower left corner. Scanner bed is shown as lifted to access USB port)

(Red arrow pointing at USB port) 

Overall, this neat multi-printer will make the top brands a run for their money. It’s like David vs. Goliath. It’s like AMD vs. Intel…hmmm. It’s a stretch, but let’s not go there. It’s for another blog.

Is Auto Financing Math or English?

One of the benefits of killing time – that is, for me, blogging – is that I get sit in front of my PC, stare blankly at the glowing CRT and instinctively placing both my hands on the keyboard’s home keys. That may sound a bit lame for a killing, but lately, that is what it is. This is also one of the times when I dream I have my own tread mill and gym set which would be a healthier way to pass time away. So while I’m not there yet, I’ll let my typing fingers do the walking for now.

Just a few weeks ago while unconsciously surfing the net like a “career zombie” trying to find a plan B after the inevitable pull out of our company, I chanced upon a sticky thread in one of my favorite automotive hangout. The thread is titled: …is looking for new talent . That intrigued me. I was then thinking: I can drive, I can do two-point reverse maneuver, I can blindly pass through Daang Hari at night & I can grab the hand brakes while my wife does an 80 kph turn. Well, what could be better than that? So I clicked to read on.

To my disappointment they’re not looking for dummy drivers. Pun intended? They’re looking for someone who can do Auto journalism. Come to think of it, they’re looking for some dummy of sort. Yes? While I haven’t seen my plan B yet, I might as well make this my plan C. I sent a private message to one of the administrators.

Unfortunately, I received no acknowledgment since then. I actually returned back to the thread to check if my foolish mind failed to see when it was posted. It was just recently. Damn.

Today however, while I absentmindedly check my emails after a graveyard duty, I saw an email from the car forum. My mind woke up in an instance. I’m once again fantasizing of being inside a brand new Toyota Camry for me to do a review; inhaling deeply and sucking all the new car scent it could offer; fiddling nervously with its keys while contemplating on what it could offer as it zoom past Cavite’s potholed highway to test its wide wheelbase and torture its suspension. Reality though sets in just as soon as it left me. Part of the email reply said, “Can you do an article on Auto Financing? Make an outline first, then [sic] we’ll start from there”. He must be kidding.

The reply just confused me. It appeared to me as two separate things. Auto Financing is an oxymoron. Know I’m wondering if Auto Financing is either Math or English.

Yahoo! power came in handy. I tried to check what the blog word has to offer regarding Auto Financing. Surprisingly, I didn’t fully expect what I’d find.  The search yield tags made me cringe. It was after all where I’m currently at right now – in debt, financing needed, bad credit, etc. Did someone say before, “What you don’t know won’t hurt you?” It was too late for me to undo. I’ve read it already.

Doing an article about Auto Financing is like doing an autopsy to myself. I would be writing like:

 “…The best time to purchase a car is right after a job promotion. Is your company’s inventory piling up? Is your company getting less attention? And Did the CEOs just recently focus their investments in Vietnam? Is your stock price in a plateau state? Screw it all. You still really need a car. The best financing deals are up for grabs.

Don’t let this chance go to drain. The local dailies motoring section are flooding with irresistible offers. Most dealers are now competing for market share and deals range from 5% off, all-in offers, 3 years + 1 warranty. The list is almost endless (read: You really need a car).

Worry no more. Banks will not only check your credit history, proof of availability…but (a pause and drum rolls is highly recommended at this point) of course also your severance package…”

Ouch. I’d die even before the editor is done proofreading my article. Wait, did I mention what my plan A is? Bum around for months while looking for plan B to Z. Ti abi.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fishing

I was out fishing with several of my friends again. If my memory serves me right, this is the 4^th time for this year and it was at the same place in succession. My friend Mike influenced me in this activity. And after telling some fishing stories and coaxing, my wife sensed that I’m already hooked (pun intended) to this hobby. So two years ago she bought me a Shimano fishing rod and reel as my birthday gift. Nice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unfortunately, my fishing sessions since then haven’t been as often as I want to. The timing this year though has been on my favor after my fishing buddy resigned from our work which enabled him to adapt to my day-off and set our fishing trips – which in my part is just a 10-kilometer drive from home.  The place is Fishers’ Farm Resort, a quite decent place for an outing in the heart of Dasmariñas, Cavite. In here, the resort offers swimming, horseback riding, and of course my favorite – fishing. Although, we’ve had days (most days, actually) when fishes doesn’t seem to take the bait, we still prefer hanging out in this place as bringing in of foods and drinks – esp. liquor – is allowed and the fees here are very affordable.

 

And so today we’ve got all the reasons to go fishing: Roman came back from Canada for a couple of weeks vacation, Mike will be leaving for the US sometime next month, Manny’s birthday tomorrow, and lastly, Manny, Jhun and I are just taking time to relax and clear our heads from the looming closure of our company.

 

The fishermen. Don’t worry NO airsoft guns were used to catch fish.

***

 

Still related to fishing, my uncle who’s also into this activity passed away just this week. Other than the fact that I was saddened by his sudden death, I was also shocked as I’ve been actually considering going back to his place sometime this year for a change of fishing experience – on a bangka (small wooden boat) and in the middle of the sea.

 

His death made me think that we are like fishes in the sea while God is the fisherman. Only he knows when he’ll take us while we spend our time wiggling our tails and fins and innocently taking the bait. A sudden snap, then we’re gone – hanging by the hook, twitching helplessly in resistance and then facing the inevitable death.

 

 And sometimes he may have to catch and release if he sees we are not yet fit to be taken – that’s being given the second chance.

 

***

 

Finally, fishing may be a metaphor. The day will come when I’ll be fishing for jobs. I’m crossing my fingers that when the time comes for me to cast the bait, some company/employer will find it alluring to catch it. And hopefully, I’ll be fit and quick enough to reel it in.

 

That’s life. 

 

Life is a Beach

It’s been years since my wife and I have been planning to hit the beach to savor the sea, sand and sun. The last one we had was way back in 2006 when I tagged along with her as she was one of the top employees of the year. They were treated for free in Boracay – love ones included. It was one of the memories we will have with our company that is worth remembering. So on April 2, just April Fools ’ Day in the US, we embarked on another road trip down south.

That trip was a trip full of mixed emotions. It was a trip taken with anticipation of fun and excitement in spite of the impending uncertainty and anxiety. The trip is the farthest we’ve both ever had going south. The driving alone was fun as we passed good roads and sceneries; luckily, we also located the La Luz beach with ease with the aid of the directions I jotted down from the internet. Only the last 4 kilometer stretch came as hurdle due to the rough and dusty road with a couple of hill climbs as a finale to our destination.

 

One of the old houses we saw on our way to La Luz.

Somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Last stretch of rough road to the beach.

4X4 preferred. One of the hill climb going to the beach.

 

Although we’re a bit disappointed when we learned that the resort is already fully booked that time, we decided to settle in one of the local’s rental place – a nipa hut managed by Aling Ely – instead of going back and looking for another resort. Besides I’ve been curious what if feels like to sleep, even just overnight, in one of those rooms. Sadly, as soon as we got settled, it was in that small room when we learned thru SMS from a colleague that the long standing rumor is now confirmed. The company’s top bosses flew in from the US that same day and have already break the news to all Cavite employees that they’re pulling the manufacturing operations out of the country in 6-9 months. An April Fools’ day joke? A thousand Filipino employees for sure wished it was, but unfortunately, it was not.

 

Aling Ely’s nipa hut

Our rented room. Take note how the bed’s size is relative to the room’s area. Small but comfortable enough for a good night sleep.

 

Setting the expected news aside and having had my “mandatory” siesta, we checked out the beach. The weather that afternoon appeared just as confused as we were. It rained hard but it quickly dissipated just as it had started. The sun beams came out of the dark gray clouds after a brief but hard rainfall.

La luz shore line.

My wife taking a dip.

 

The beach at that time is rather serene which I find unusual as I’m expecting it to be crowded and filled with activity given the fact that it’s summer. The water is fairly clear yet the waves tend to be strong. Some portions underwater are also uneven and may surprise anyone unfamiliar with the area. And one thing I can’t help but notice is that the sand all over the place is quite loose; we kidded it’s where the name La Luz was derived – from being La “Loose”. Ti abi. I can’t think of any other beach I’ve been to that taking just a leisurely walk didn’t come as it should be. A few meters of treading in this beach drained most of my energy. With every step we took, my stomach protested. Hunger eventually sets in.

Kainan Express. Cheap yet worth it.

Taramandu bar.

 

Looking for food was also unexpectedly hard. Other than being not able to get reservations in La Luz’s dining, the surrounding area itself is scarce of bars or restaurants. Although there are some kainan or carinderia (local restos), the choice of food that you expect to eat while in the beach is just not available. I find it ironic that we had a difficult time finding fresh inihaw na isda (grilled fish) in one of those kainan. Thankfully after crisscrossing and thoroughly combing the nearby area like two thin hungry cats, one resort’s bar accommodated us as walk-in customers. But then, they have no choice, because believe it or not we’re the only customers at that time. Weird.

Without the flash coming from my P&S camera, this boat is totally blanketed by the pitch black night time.

Night time at the beach is quieter which of course is a good thing. So with my “to go” San Mig lights beer from Taramandu bar, my wife and I settled in one of the cabanas with the dim incandescent light coming from the distant posts as the only illumination. It was a perfect time to talk about lots of things – our job, for one. It was also a perfect time to do some star gazing which as far I can recall I haven’t done for years without the distraction of honking cars, TV shows, noisy neighbors and interference coming from the innocent street lamp post. The beach that night was almost pitch black. The only star that night…well, are the stars.

We went home the next day after sleeping over at the nipa hut. I had a very good sleep that night even with just having only an electric fan for ventilation. The native materials from roof (nipa) to flooring (bamboo) indeed allowed good ventilation. It was a change from the usual air-conditioned rooms we’re used to as accommodations. Except for the toilet where my wife discovered some friends from Joe’s Apartment (go figure), the overnight stay at Aling Ely’s place was worth the price (Php 1.2K) and the experience.

This trip will be one of the memorable trips I’ve ever had. Indeed, life is a road trip. Life is a beach.

Two-Choices

Every now and then, I always remember one of the e-mails I received regarding man having just two choices the moment he wakes up and starts his day. So as this week seems to be a week of confusion, fun, adventure, fun…or in short just confusion, I’m once again faced with these two choices. And what are these? Simply, it’s just deciding if it’s going to be a good or bad day.

So on April fool’s day, despite already having a hint of the things that may happen within the week, my wife and I refuse to let it go down on us. We chose to be happy. By lunch time we decided to eat at Brazilian Bbq restaurant in ATC which is just a couple of months old in the area.

The place is just at the back of the former Saisaki restaurant and is fairly small thus giving a homey feel to it. I think it just can accommodate approximately 50 customers at a time – less elbows to rub (that is if you actually get to be even that near), less buffet rivals, more chance to pick and savor the food. Just don’t be deceived by its size though as this restaurant packs a variety of good food, mostly grilled, in its menu.  I don’t know who conceptualized it, but this place re-defines yoyo diet.

Other than the plates, spoons and forks, and condiments, the waiter also places a yoyo on the table. To a newcomer this may come as surprise as to what its purpose may be. The yoyo is actually colored green on one side and red on the other. Laying the toy with its green on top means a waiter will come at your table with random grilled food still at its rotisserie stake for you - although you may ask whatever you wanted. They’ll be coming right back until you’ve turned the yoyo over with its red side on top. It just occurred to me that this is a good way to keep the customers from saying “stop” while their mouth is “stuffed”. Wise idea.

As we normally do, we checked out the movies after the hearty meal. And as much as I’m longing to watch an animated film – Horton, I quickly erased the thought of it as the grilled meat seemed to make me look for something adrenalin-packed. So we transferred to the nearby Festival Mall and without any doubt I saw what I’m looking for – Vantage Point.

The first 30 minutes of the movie will make one think of seeing a crap film. The scenes keep on coming back to 11:59:59am. What’s good with that!? Sooner though, the plot continues to thicken and it was just then that I begun praising its filmmakers.  The movie stands true to its theme: “8 strangers, 8 stories, 1 vantage point”. The car chase scenes are almost at par with that of Ronin. But unfortunately this film is not free of Hollywood B.S.  One will never fail to notice the clean state of some of the characters amidst the bomb blast and car crashes. Other than that, I find the acting of both heroes and villains convincingly great. Two thumbs up.

  

Part II: Ship is Sinking

Working for a multinational company which most people and its other employees consider as one of the most stable work place in the country then, I can’t help but compare it now to the Titanic. The day it was built and the very day of its maiden voyage, the Titanic was flaunted and described by its engineers and owners as the biggest and as the unsinkable. But they’d found out soon that it wasn’t meant to be. And so are we.

While I’m not about to dwell on what isn’t clear at this moment yet, I’ve been thinking  what if we are all in that gigantic ship from the moment it struck the iceberg. What type of passenger or crew will we be (in reference to the movie)?

Are we the night watch crew who trembled in fear when we realized we missed informing the bridge of the huge iceberg because we’re so busy watching Jack and Rose making out in the cold?

Are we the economy class passengers who remained clueless of what is going outside because we are located at the ships lower deck?

Are we one of the crews who readily handed out life jackets by prioritizing those in the business class and give the remainder to those in economy?

Are we the ones who surrendered our fate and preferred staying with our kids and love ones until the very end?

Are we the captain who tried to shrug off the crash like it was just a bad dream and later on decided to go down with the ship instead?

Are we the crew who in an attempt to control the passengers from stampede accidentally shot one of them and out of desperation and regret turned the gun on himself?

Are we the lucky ones who got hold of the life boats and turned a blind eye to those hopelessly trying to survive in the frigid waters?

Or are we the band that played on so as to make our very best to entertain those who might have shut their mind to the imminent reality?

In “our” part, I can’t directly relate to the above mentioned characters but if James Cameron could have had a camera zoom more on the people running around, we’d be seen just plainly walking around the ship’s deck, taking our time to enjoy the wonderful cold night sky and entering some of the food halls and ordering the most expensive food available (while wondering why the waiters seem pale). We may even be seen inside the car where Jack and Rose were before the tragedy. Hehe.

Tomorrow is D-day. But once again, Que sera sera.