Trying to be Merry on Christmas

 

I’m now officially one of the Grinch. After 13 years of landing a job, last night was the first time I reported to work on a Christmas Eve. Normally during this time of the year, I’d either be in my hometown – Bacolod, or in Batangas celebrating Christmas with my wife and our family.

But then everything changes. And this year that change came to my career and left me no choice but to stand by it and be at work - technically, to role model. Ahem.

So yesterday afternoon I was actually feeling some mixed emotions as my time to go to work nears.  I was feeling excited for this first time event in my profession; and at the same time I was feeling uneasy and sad that I’d be celebrating my Christmas eve  without my wife or family with me. I’d be with my peers and people instead.

By the time I arrived at our plant, I can feel that the mood is surprisingly festive. The sight of employees with bags of gifts added to the holiday atmosphere.  The smiles and greetings are unwavering and infectious. Well at least whatever the reasons for the jolly characters, I know I’m surrounded by good aura for the rest of the graveyard shift.

Everything went the usual way just like any ordinary day when work kicked in. I was actually thinking, “Well, not bad. I can actually be a nurse, a pilot, a fireman, a security guard or a doctor on call…”or any other personnel who is expected to work even during the holidays. I felt like I’m not missing a big event or a love one. Well, not yet.

Break time came and a special dinner for all the manufacturing employees was served. The special meal was accented even more by a special dinner table setting. We’d be eating with candlelight. So by this time I was becoming even more convinced that working that night will be no big feat. I’m even starting to enjoy it. The sight of the lechon worked like a charm.

Right after dinner, I was back on my desk doing some routine tasks when I heard someone mentioned, “Sir Christmas na po (Sir it’s Christmas already)”. That’s when I glanced at the wall clock to see that it has struck midnight. The greetings around the production line competed with the humming equipment and audible alarms. I returned the merry wishes but caught myself faking a smile. I suddenly felt sad. I felt a lump in my throat.  I tried to contain myself.  And as if by a snap of a finger, I missed everyone whom I used to be with.

Probably this experience will stay with me until the next year. The feeling of having to choose between work and being with my love ones is a perfect dilemma.  Something’s got to give. And whoever said before that “Work is just a slice of life, it’s not the whole pizza” is mostly someone who can afford to sacrifice that slice. Unfortunately I don’t have the pleasure of doing so. When that day comes I’ll be the happiest.

I (Still) Don’t Get It

“An empty mind is a devil’s workshop”

Frankly speaking, having without a car made me a bit uneasy especially now that the Christmas season is coming in, and fast! I missed a lot without it.

I missed going to the malls with my wife on our own time and not worrying if we’re going to squeeze our butts in just to get seated in the jeepney for being the last two to get in. I missed the gift buying activity we’ve been regularly doing and not wondering how and where we’d be able to place all the shopping bags. I missed going home late coming from a good (esp. scary) movie. I missed getting stuck in traffic with me on the wheel and not having to think if my nose has clogged due to smog, smoke & dust – whichever comes first or all of it combined.  I missed waking up a bit late and not worrying that I’ll miss the bus to work. I just missed the freedom it gave me.

To shake off this feeling of self pity, I tried keeping my mind busy while being a passenger in one of the buses, jeepneys or cars of friends. And that did me good somehow. My thoughts wandered more (no defensive driving to worry about). I became observant of other things I can’t see or think of while driving. I became keen with what is outside the vehicle’s window.

And those wild brainstorming got me into things that until now make me say, “I don’t get it”.

I don’t get it why charity parties intended to benefit the hungry street children are in lavish settings with abundant overpriced food and attended normally by “botoxed” personalities. Can’t these people just give right away to charity? Or they really need the TV and photo coverage for that?

I don’t get it why a billboard at a sidewalk going to Tagaytay says, “Inteligent Auto Paint Shop”. Hopefully the owner has a good explanation for this, or else, better they forget having customers in there.

I don’t get it why the employees of “Coolmaster Airconditioing Expert” (in front of the car I’m in while on our way to a Christmas party) are out in the open at the back of a wobbly pick-up truck enduring the noontime heat.

I don’t get it why a municipal vehicle with the words “Responsableng Taong Bayan (Responsible people of the community)” is illegally park on one side of Muntinlupa’s road.

I don’t get it why when a majority is anticipating to travel by air during this Christmas season is also the time when Discovery Channel and National Geographic shows programs such as Air Crash Investigation, Air Disasters, etc. Either someone from those shows hate Christmas travel or owns a stock in the shipping industry. And by the way, out of curiosity I tried to search in Wikipedia and I’m glad with the result - December is not the highest among the statistics. At least not among the top three and that’s a relief, well, sort of.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*extracted these data and tabulated using excel’s countif formula.
*sorted from lowest (April) to highest (November).

 

 

Lastly, I don’t get it why the brandy I’ve been drinking (since I bought it) kept me awake instead of falling asleep. I guess it’s about time I check the fine print on its label. I’d be damned if it contains caffeine. But then again my subconscious must be working on something else (and wants me to stay up late). Something I might be thinking about more with Christmas day only 3 days to go. Whatever that is, let it come by…I’d love to write about it soon.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone…especially to you wifey. I really miss you!!

 

(I just noticed the most frequent word I mentioned in my blogs are either wife, beer or liquor. I think it’s about time i change my blog name.hehehe)

  

 

Tis The Season to be Jolly

“Don’t be afraid to be weak
Don’t be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself” - Enigma. Return to Innocence

The ‘ber’ months must have some effect on everyone if not to the Filipinos alone. Once the very 1st day of September sets it everything seems to intensify or gets exaggerated. As if some switch gets turned on right after the midnight of August 31.

Different ages react differently to this transition. For most adult this is the start of expenses pouring in. Everything seems gets listed in the “needs” section of the budget list. The “wants” list more often becomes empty – blame it on consumerism? For most children however, this is the season to be Jolly, period.

I can still remember my excitement - when l was kid - every time when the calendar reaches September. As if the calendar page between August and September is a musical card that plays a song when opened, “…Santa Claus is coming to town…” And unknown to me then, this Santa Claus are those adult that gets weary and anxious when these ‘ber’ months sets it. They are either our parents or our “unlucky” ninongs and ninangs (godparents). After 20 years, I’m now one of them.

It was as if just a couple days ago when someone reminded me to start buying gifts to avoid the shopping rush. In fact that was months ago. Just like any broken vinyl record this irritatingly skips and repeats. Sadly the holiday rush doesn’t skip. It just repeats. The farthest I can remember panicking at this level is since I started having my own pay check. (Now I’m confused if having a paycheck should either get celebrated or cursed.) My wife and I normally kid each other usually around every January to start buying Christmas trees and gifts by this time. But before I know it, the ‘ber’ months are in, again. Now I’m behind 2 months already. It’s now November.

The mall sales now get more frequent than before. The bonuses are coming in (or shall I say passing through). The yuletide songs are as common as jeepney noise. The dreaded traffic gets worst. The horrifying thought of the inaanaks (godchildren) knocking at the front door getting realized as December nears. It’s funny but when someone says now “Christmas is just around the corner”, this is now like a windtalker’s code that someone is out to get you.

Hey, did I just realize I’m now a Grinch? During this season most adults are, I guess. Well it must be the cycle of life I guess. Some call it karma. The act gets repeated but the recipients change. If before I was thankfully receiving crisp bills, now I’m…I’m not giving one. Beside, the crisp bills now are of less value. Now that’s justified (miser smile).

Every time I’m in this situation I think of an old Filipino song (by Asin) with the following lyrics:

Itanong mo sa mga bata (Ask the children)
Ano ang kanilang nakikita (What they see)
Sa buhay na hawak nila (At the life they have)
Masdan mo ang mga bata (Observe the children)
Sila ang tunay na pinagpala (They are the lucky ones)
Kaya dapat nating pahalagahan (We should appreciate them)
Dapat din kayang kainggitan? (Shouldn’t we envy them)

Although this is not a Christmas song, this clearly describes and shows how having the innocence just like the small ones becomes a very big deal. More often, taking the simple meaning of an event or season is what matters most. Children love summer for the vacation. Children love Christmas for Santa Claus. If they love it for Christ’s birth, the better of course. But that’s where our adult explanation comes into play (and it’s another long story or blog).

So if only most adults, including me, can see this significance just as it is (even just during December), then I think this is when we can wholeheartedly join the children in saying, “Tis the season to be jolly”.