Too Much Hollywood

“Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction…” – Bad Religion

 

Who can accept that one way or another, Hollywood has made an impact in their lives? I for one am raising both hands. Don’t get me wrong, but needless to say, I have neither been near Hollywood nor ever have seen in person even one Oscar’s nominee or awardee.  I’m not even an actor material (reminds me to check heritage.com).  As much as I’d like to, I was never that close.

Just like everyone else I get my daily dose of it out of the boob tube if not from the giant silver screen. And as far as I can recall I’ve been watching a bit of it almost every day even since I was kid. Heck, that may even be the reason why I started telling fabricated stories when I was yet in grade school. Just like any kid does. Remarkably better than an embedded chip, Hollywood movies or TV shows really know how to find their place in our mind, stay there for good and eventually affecting our daily lives – whether we like it or not.

Moreover, with the steady influx of technological advancement  that is getting affordable or at least accessible to the masses (at a rate that’s quicker than most people can get their salary increases) blurs the line between real and reel life every time. From cable TV, the internet, mobile TV, virtual reality and my favorite – High Definition audio (e.g., Surround sound system, SDDS, THX) and/or video (HDTV, Blue Rays, etc.),  one’s senses and imagination gets treated better than it was before. Each sensory experience is getting more surreal and it felt usually so satisfying that often times creating a make believe environment just like in the movies is as easy as closing one’s eyes.

Not trying to sound psychotic or one who has taken a good dose of hallucinogens and brandishing the peace sign, I love to entertain myself by superimposing some sort of “Hollywood-ish” flavor into my reality – as often as I please.

Like a couple of weeks ago until today, the weather has been harsh in our part of the globe. Mornings would usually come with bright orange dawn and would continue to become a very sunny, warm and humid noontime. In a matter of minutes though, as if on cue, AND as if a scene coming right out of Tom Cruise’s War of the Worlds, the sky would be overcast and the dreaded lightning flashes streaks across the black backdrop. What follows next is a thunder roaring like something out of an Armageddon setting. During these times, I can beat Dash’s speed 10 times. Trust me.

To keep reality in check, I always appreciate the presence of shows such as my favorite Mythbusters and when I get the chance or when my remote fingers stray away, I like watching Nat Geo’s “What Happens If?” and Mad Labs. These are shows which remind me that Hollywood will never be equals to reality (at least for now). It reminds me that cars falling off the cliff won’t normally explode, a piercing bullet in a gas tank doesn’t mean an instant kaboom, sticking a knife on a ship’s sail won’t cushion or slow down your fall and many more fallacies being obviously exposed that every time I get to watch a movie makes me a bad viewer – just waiting for mistakes to happen. It takes one good movie to make me switch from a pesky critic to an all-adoring fan.

But my love-hate relationship with the weather always fascinates me that I can easily relate either a blue sky day or a cumulus laden heaven from a scene out of the movie world. For example, waking up this afternoon I saw that my wife eagerly waited to show me an animation of the typhoon Fengshen (local name, Frank). Although this typhoon is nowhere near a super storm, the rotating mass at the center which covers a great part of Luzon switched my neurons into role-playing time. I immediately heard a clapper sounding inside my head and saw a camera crane panning from behind me to my left showing just the glowing monitor which became a perfect backlight to emphasize my profile. If I could have lifted the mouse anywhere near my mouth, I could have uttered the words, “…Andrea Gail…there’s a storm coming your way…”

As much as I find reality annoying and most of the days it is just tempting to surrender myself to our coach, grab one tube of Pringles, a bottle of ice cold beer and complemented by a good DVD movie and an ever sympathetic wife just by my side, having a grasp of the concrete life along with its demanding goals remains a test of our true character. A character that plays its part unconditionally even without the luxury that its reel counterpart enjoys but with the assurance that every well-played part in the real world will have its real rewards and hopefully will have its own happy finale. But then again, I’d appreciate it a lot if our lives can readily have an alternate ending. Ti abi.

***

It appears like the cancellation of our Ilocos trip which was supposed to happen next week is a blessing in disguise. From wunderground.com, it shows that typhoon Frank seems to be planning to go along with our road trip. Hahaha. The price we have to pay for celebrating our wedding anniversary every June.

 

 

*Weather Images from Wunderground.com

Ride Of My Life

Prelude:

 

I’m trying to do a blog this week with the pressure coming from my publisher/editor-in-chief…errr, my wife but with me having a flu (which I haven’t had for almost a year) my lazy bones took over. My mind stopped functioning, grammars in my composition worsen and my gray matter preferred holding the TV’s remote instead. I tried to fight back by starting to read a book - Digital Fortress - but every time I sniff I get distracted and left me no choice but to put it down often. I had to cancel badminton and gym sessions as well and confined my activity within our sofa, bed, sofa, bed - all of which puts me in front of the TV most of the time if not in front of the PC.

 

Luckily, TV shows lately are quite new (at least to me) and I enjoyed most of it. Last night Amazing Video’s episode: Stunts Gone Bad had my sadistic side pumped up as I was laughing my heart out while skateboarders and BMX’ers crash and burn. And just before I went into deep sleep, I heard David Letterman mentioning that Kevin Robinson achieved a 27 feet ramp flight. I know he must have been clueless who first set the 25 feet mark. Only an avid BMX’er knew about that - and I was one of them. Shhhh.

 

So today I tried to go back to a book review on Mat Hoffman’s book which I’m very sure I posted; however, I almost freaked out when I can’t find it in my multipy site, blogspot and even here in wordpress. I don’t know, but I got quite confused and began to suspect if the TRANSLTR really existed. Hahahaha. I got it all mixed up now. TRANSLTR is a fictional (is it really?) powerful machine capable of intercepting emails (or blogs?) and other electronic signals that may have the sinister intention towards Uncle Joe’s government. Thankfully that’s fiction and that’s from Digital Fortress by the way.

 

Intercepted by TRANSLTR or just stuck in my files, here’s the book review.

 

 ***

 

“Once a _____, always a _____”. Almost anyone can fill in these blanks. Well in my case, it’s “Once a rider, always a rider”.

 

Back in the old school days as they call it, everyone in our group knows at least one bit of Mat Hoffman. We were a bunch of BMX flatlanders back then and despite Mat being famous in the vert sessions, no one really cared. Anybody who is “rad“, we idolize.

 

My wife got this book for me from a book sale section at SM while I was busy filling my need for caffeine in the donut shop. Little did I know that the espresso load will somewhat become a warm up in preparation for what I’d be reading for the next hours until a few days more. The book sent adrenalin rush all over my body. It was as if I’m just in front of Mat Hoffman’s life as it unfolds. If I could haven gotten myself on a BMX at that moment, I could have delivered a couple of my favorite old school routines just like I did way back in high school. Perfect trick execution or not, it wouldn’t have mattered to me.

 

It is that good. The energy it brings is infectious. Reading Mat Hoffman Ride of My Life (with Mark Lewman) from start to finish sent me cringing, smiling, sighing or just plainly amazed…no, actually very amazed. Of course, nostalgic BMX daydreams came in every now and then in between pages. It just can’t be avoided by ex-BMXers like me.

 

Needless to say, my BMX experience wasn’t even near Mat’s. In his ramp scale, mine will just be a mere curve past flat bottom. Yes, it was just that. Even then, those riding years gave me great memories, not to mention bruises and the shame that usually comes with it. “No pain, No gain” as we always used to say. And yet again, it just doesn’t come any near Mat’s.

 

The 311-page, hardbound book comes with a great compilation of great photos (just in case one would wonder what in the world a can-can is) which covered almost every aspect of Mat’s life. It was here that I learned he was just a five year old kid when he started riding - horses just yet. And in no time his need for speed and especially flight started in quick succession. Mat was destined to be known as the Condor.

 

With influence from his older brother he soon got introduced to motorbikes, ramps and their roof. Yes, you read it right, roof.  Riders, or riders in the making, have different perspectives of the common everyday things: A roof is to “air time” - I remembered I jumped a couple of times from our roof top and landing on piles of leaves. If only I had a bike at that time. Hmmm; an innocent hand rail is to grinds; plywood is to ramps; a dry swimming pool is to jam sessions and the list can go on. And Mat’s list is one that most of us just can’t predict or let alone imagine.

 

Mat’s skills eventually got him into a manufacturer-sponsored team and went into either doing demo (read: show-off sessions) or competition, starting as an amateur. I was surprised to learn that during this time Dennis McCoy (another BMX icon) was already doing pro.

 

Of course his honeymoon with the bicycle scene didn’t come without any hitch. And this is when the BMX recession happened. It was during this time that Mat proved his love and passion for the sport. Instead of just quitting like everyone did, he founded his own Hoffman Bikes so he could manufacture bikes at his own specification (and his own backyard). He was just 17 years old then.  Eventually this backyard industry grew and become one of the biggest in the BMX business.

 

As his riding skills and confidence progresses he started inventing (no, this doesn’t involve lab work) sick and original tricks. And one of which was the famous 900 - think of it as two and a half bike turns while on vertical flight. (Just one turn or a 360 by the way, would take a lot of skills already). Another thing that no one can take away from Mat is his famous, over spec ramp and the amazing height that it got him into. That ramp was 21 feet high and he was able to achieve another 25 feet of vertical flight from it, which made more believers and lesser skeptics – mostly, I guess were just green with envy. Until now, no one has come close to that feat. No one even dared.

 

By the way, an advice to non-riders: avoid randomly picking and reading the pages as one might end up thinking that he’s reading a medical book (or a maniac’s death wish). The long list of Mat’s injury, mostly from doing his bike stunts, is enough for this book to be mistakenly placed by anyone alongside the surgeon or nurses’ reviewers section of the bookstore. And lastly, while reading this book having an air sickness bag right behind you may be a good idea as well.

 

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is (or was) into bikes (esp. BMX. as one will surely love to read about most of BMX history’s evolution of tricks, bikes, apparel and riders’ skills) or just loves to watch the Extreme Games , Bike Stunts contest or the TV show, Jackass .

 

Until now I can still smell the scent of our favorite bike shop. Ahhh, I just love the smell of tires and scuffed shoes. Thankfully I got this wonderful book for me to remember those good old carefree riding days.

 

 

Postscript:

Now I remember, I sent this review as an entry in Philstar’s My Favorite Book, but it looks like they wanted it to remain just my favorite. Grrr. I’m thinking though that not much people can relate to this book anyway. Besides BMX riders prefer the streets and I bet seldom they’ll pick and read the Philippine Star. And that makes me a “Has Been”. Ti abi.

 

book cover credit: http://www.bikemag.com/news/hoffman_book/

 

 

 

Busting Smash Lab

If there’s one cable TV channel I instinctively choose to partner with our couch (and my unconscious effort to gain weight), it would be The Discovery Channel. Over the years, I’ve come to love the programs it has been showing.  I can even endure re-runs played the nth time and still get awed and surprised every time I see it. I don’t call it short memory retention; I just consider it both an entertaining and learning experience.

Discovery has been like a drive-thru movie (we see of course only in the movies)that my wife and I loves whenever we’re home. It’s like a subliminal message has been planted over our brains that whatever mood (yes! Whatever) we’re in, we just appreciate the fact that we’re in front of the boob tube absorbing whatever show it feeds us. It is in this channel that we come to love the mood swings of the Teutuls of the Orange County Choppers, learned the art of survival with Bear Gryll’s Man vs. Wild, realized why the king crabs are such pricey meals after watching Deadliest Catch, understand how ordinary things came to be in How It’s Made and of course, how can I forget the Mythbusters.

Considering me as a fan of conspiracy theories, urban legends and of any myths around, the Mythbusters has been like a How-To book to me. It is TV’s version of howstuffworks – you watch it when you want to confirm something. You watch it when you want to know if one myth is plausible or busted. I once told my wife that I’d prefer it as my background while at home over the FM radio stations. MB is just like music to my ears.

And finally after weeks of anticipation, after all the hype and the wait for another new Discovery channel show that will complement my favorites, Smash Lab debuted this week.  And despite still lacking sleep (coming from a graveyard shift) together with the cool rainy weather outside, I was able to resist the call of our comfy bed to stay stuck to it. Instead I glued myself in front of the TV to welcome the show Smash Lab.

But like any myths in Mythbusters, I was soon like Adam calling it busted just as the myth is told. I was nowhere in the middle of Smash Lab premier when I saw myself in the mirror yawning not because of the lack of sleep, but because of sudden realization that the show is a total bore. Other similarly predictable boring series suddenly began playing inside my mind:

·         Lost – what do you expect but lost people who get to wear new set of clothes every episode.

·         Prison Break – want a clue what this is all about? Duh!

·         Numbers – I hate this show just as I hate math. I would even kneel wherever I am if I one day I will read in the papers an FBI/NBI investigator plotting complex mathematical calculations to pin point a criminal. Until that time comes, this show for me is Zero.

·         Sex and the City – It’s nothing but promiscuity advertised. (But frankly, I get turned on just by the sight of Sarah Jessica Parker.)

So that’s how I got lost in Smash Lab – watching it reminded me of the other shows I hated and it reminded me to include it in that list. I find it a total waste of budget, talent and not to mention concrete. The premier episode is about stopping cars using aerated concrete added to existing barriers and lane dividers – which all of the experiments ended in a pathetic and pretentious shout of success. The show just fall short of convincing Mythbusters fans (like me) to pack up and let Adam, Jamie, Grant, Kari and Tory be a thing of the past. As for first impressions, which could last, this show is BUSTED.

 

Circus Now Showing on TV

“A nation that forgets its past is doomed to repeat it.” – Sir Winston Churchill

“Ang hindi marunong tumingin sa pinanggalingan hindi makararating sa paroroonan.” – Chinese Proverb (?)

I was coming from our last graveyard shift for this week and upon waking up from a 4-hour deep slumber – thanks to the rain & cold weather outside – I switched on the TV channel and I was surprised by what I saw on TV.

“I must still be dreaming”, “Did the cable channel provider changed programming?”, “Am I tuned to the History channel?”, “Did my remote control conked out?”

While I was trying to recollect myself of the reality of what is being shown on TV, the “Live” caption on the side of the screen then made me realize that what I’m watching is indeed happening.

Standing in front of the camera was Sen. Trillanes surrounded by some personnel, a priest who became famous for running, a lady thanking the media for their perseverance to stay despite the tear gas bombardment - she doesn’t have to say that, these guys will stay like leeches even if a bomb is about to explode. That could have been a welcome entry for World’s Amazing Video.

This scene greeted me from my wonderful siesta like a post-sleep nightmare. Here we go again. Fill in the blanks: Edsa (type series no. here). What a shame.

Other than being pissed by what is actually happening hundreds of kilometers from where I am, I was reminded of a then irate Jim Paredes’ post (Equal Right to Lawlessness) in his blog site and what I in return commented to it:

“Jim,So what’s next? Edsa 4?Just like Neo who suspects that a déjà vu occurs when someone is tweaking the Matrix, I too thinks that someone out there (Uh oh, I’m becoming a conspiracy theorist) is calmly running his fingers through the rum glass, massaging his bearded chin just as this event is in progress and most likely doing a revision of his “master plan”.

I say not. It looks like we are a bunch of people with 64kb of memories - i.e., we forget so soon.
…
I’m tired of seeing on TV a cliche of events that would humble even the plot of the telenovelas:
1. People gets angry at the president.
2. TRAPOs gather people.
3. People + TRAPOs oust the president.
4. TRAPOs hug and attends [sic] mass with Bishops.
5. New President.6. (Repeat # 1 if necessary)

Only in the Philippines.”

 

Why?

This is because I am now concluding that behind this Trillanes character is a bigger group or individual so eager to topple the current regime so that they can “serve” the Filipino people. After all I believe that this senator (sadly, yes) is a coward and should have never been voted in the first place. But then again…we tend to forget.

If we rewind what this ex-soldier, coup-plotter or in short just a plain hooligan had done, we will see that he’s had this habit of cowering in hotels to make his point (or the lack of it) known to everyone. Now I think it is about time that all hotels run a memorandum to close its doors once they see this man coming in. So far I could not recall that he’s made a good impression for Philippine hotel economy. He’s just scaring investors away since the world got to know him.

Of course to prove that Trillanes is mainly out there to stir the Edsa spirit (pun intended), he brought along with him a minimum number of characters to summon the majority (also known as “the masses”) of the short-minded Filipinos and a bunch of media newscasters willing once again to insult if not to challenge the intellect of the “resilient” pinoys. Interestingly, Jim Paredes’ has a blog about it to - 23 tools to brainwash and influence people through mass media:

“…
14. Repetition is key. Repeat important messages as often as possible.
15. Repetition is key.
16. Repetition is key.
17. Bypass rationality by any means possible. People don’t need logic to accept information. Belief is emotional. Always remember: WAR=PEACE.
18. Remember –- two half-truths make up a whole truth….”

Repetition is the key. We were taught before that a succession of drops of water will eventually make an impression on a stone. Unfortunately this is being used for the wrong objective. Ti abi.

So while I’m a few hours away from my birthday, I might as well grab the opportunity to entertain myself with the circus on TV. Who knows, the next time I click on the boob tube a new “clown” is already out there to serve our beloved nation. Mabuhay!